Sportin' my first kit

So I don't really have any allegiance to Die Mannschaft (German national team) but this is the only soccer jersey I have that kinda fits me right now. Regardless, I look supa-fly! Get me out on the pitch, I'm ready to kick some balls! That doesn't sound quite right. I'll work on it. Anyway, just wait until I grow into my Liverpool jersey that Mommy got from Ghana. At the rate I am growing that should be in about 4 hours give or take.

This happens at least 5 times a day now.

Wait a minute...what just happened? Where is everyone?

"Seriously guys, hahaha, you can come out now. Mom? Dad? Anyone? Hellllloooooo? This isn't funny anymore! I'm starting to freak out here! If you can hear me then say something, make a sound, ANYTHING!!"

Everyone has abandoned me. My mom was just here two seconds ago. But now I am a lone man in the universe. No more mom...dad...friends...girlfriend(s)...groupies...frenemies. What am I going to do?! Is this all just a dream?! Am I dead?! Were they all abducted by aliens?! Does the world even exist anymore?! Did it ever exist?! It's all just so confusing!!! All I can do is sit here and cry and cry!

"Waaaaaahhhhh!!! Waaaaaahhhhh!!!"

(FLUSH!!! 30 seconds later Mom returns from bathroom.)

"Hey there honeybear, it's ok, I'm back."

Phhheeewww! She's alive! ALIVE! I'm not alone anymore! Hallelujah!!

"Hi mom, I'd like my binky please."

Pickup Line Fail

So I liked the actors I hired for my last blogpost so much that I hired them again. Enjoy!

Date Night?

So the other day I tried to ask my sorta girlfriend Alice out on a date. Unfortunately, the paparazzi that normally follows me everywhere did not catch it on camera. So I hired these actors to reenact the event. Enjoy!

Latest Professional Modeling Gig

In between modeling gigs for Vanity Fair and Muscle and Fitness I decided to humor my parents and pose with them for BMW photography (check it out at http://bmwphotographyblog.blogspot.com/). Thanks to photog Brinn for taking such quality shots!

Just a reminder for all you casting directors out there. I do film as well as print. Have your people call my people.

Ladies, look deep into my eyes. You know you can't look away.

Now you know where I got my winning smile from.

What you can't see here is me using my crackberry while my Mom tries to get me to stop. It's called multitasking and guess what Mom, I learned it from you!

I'm so stinkin' adorable. Dad, not so much. That's why we always keep him in the back slightly out of focus.

Here we were having artistic differences. I did not agree to this pose since I wasn't the center of attention. It's common knowledge that if you want people to like your shot I should ALWAYS be the center of attention. Bank on it.

Here is the Le Tigre pose that I've busted out before. Never goes out of style (just like me).

Blankets beware

So every once in a while my parents (or other humans) seem to think that I need to be wrapped in a blanket. HOW DARE THEY!!! Do you really think that I, the great King Liam, need the warmth of a blanket? My hot bod and winning personality give off so much heat I'm like the sun baby! Do you really think the world is better off with my rock hard ab and bulging baby biceps hidden from view? That's right, hang your heads in shame laypeople. NO BLANKET CAN COVER ME!!! YOU GOT THAT?!!

(I apologize in advance for my mom's weird laugh at the end of the video. How embarrassing...for her.)

3 months old!!!

Boy you know, old age really gives you a whole new perspective on life. For one thing, I can totally feel it in all my joints lately. I never even knew I had joints until about a week ago. Also, I sleep a whole lot more than I used to. And I drool a lot. And my memory seems to be going. Or is it coming? Either way, life sure is different now that I'm an older man. To celebrate my mom took some pictures of me with my friends Donkey Hote and Monk. As always you're welcome ladies.

Here I'm stretching out so you can take in all the wonder and awe that is my impressive physique.

(Disclaimer: Mommy made us take this. We don't even like NY that much let alone "heart" it. If they made a "I put up with NY because Mommy forces us to" t-shirt then we'd both be wearing that.)

The fellas and I. I call this look "Sassafras".

This is our formal portrait look. I'm looking into having this framed on a 12 foot canvas and hung in our foyer. Or in the Louvre. Either one.

Donkey Hote wasn't happy with the terms of his contract so he walked out at this point. That's ok. I can carry a photospread by myself.

Here, Monk and I are illustrating the dichotomy between happiness and sadness, lightness and darkness, good and evil, etc. It's a think piece.

Is this "Blue Steel" or is it "Magnum"? You decide.