White Men Can Jump

All I want for Christmas this year is some mad hops. And I got 'em!!! Grandma-ma taught me to use the Johnny Jump-up. Same one my pops used when he was a wee lad. I guess vertical domination runs in the family.

Chillin' with my dawg Jake.

I suppose a suppository would do

So I understand that this might be TMI, but I've been a little irregular lately. And by irregular I mean I hadn't pooped in over a week. My parents were getting worried. But after two suppositories and some apple juice...BLAMO!! I now have a three pound softball sized diaper to add to my trophy case of Liam's Greatest Hits! My dad wasn't even mad, he thought it was amazing. I'll admit it was one of my more impressive accomplishments. I'll spare you the pictures, but on your next family vacation if you want to visit the World's Largest Dirty Diaper you'll know who to call.

Does anyone know a good mechanic?

I'm having some motoring problems. I think it's the transmission. I can turn it over and rotate in place. And I can throw it in reverse and back up (daddy's worried I'll go backing up down the stairs). But I can't get into first gear and get this body movin' forward. Any suggestions? It would be a shame to have such a fine looking vehicle as myself always stuck in park.

Could someone give me a jump?

Happy creepy face.

Happy dapper face.

Happy sweet face.

That's how I roll!

It's a tough economy out there and like many Americans these days I have been spending a lot of time on my back lately. I just don't think that continuing on my back is really going to get me where I want to go in life. That's why I decided to fully invest in my rollover. So far it is paying handsome dividends. See below: